What To Do When A Girl Doesn’t Text You Back

The first mistake most men make when a girl doesn’t text them back is to immediately send them a text asking what’s up or what’s wrong or even saying something totally unrelated.

Instead, men need to remember that texting in the dating world needs to be very strategic if they are going to be able to compete with all the other men vying for a girl’s attention.

Girl Ignoring Text From GuyThere could be a myriad of reasons why a girl doesn’t text you back. For instance, maybe she is swamped at work. Maybe she has some other drama in her life, with a girlfriend or family member or something that has kept her distracted. Maybe she lost her phone. Maybe she is out of town. Maybe she doesn’t like you enough and is having second thoughts.

The point is there are so many possible reasons why she might not have texted you back that it doesn’t really matter, except for the last reason and in that case, there is very little you can do about it except follow the advice below.

But, with that said, rather than dwell on why she might not have texted you back, the smarter thing to do is use it as an opportunity t let her know you are busy and popular with other women.

Here are some strategies that might combat her refusal to text you back. The first key is to allow some time to pass to not only give her a chance to respond, but to dispel any thoughts she might have that you are sitting around anxious to hear back from her. (Even, or especially if, you are doing just that.)

Ignore her silence and text back something pretending that she was the last one to text you. But, keep in mind that in order for this to work, you need to let some time lapse. Preferably two days, but at least one full day. You can send something totally unrelated to your previous conversation for best effect. And it shouldn’t be something lame, such as “What’s up?” The next time you text her after she cut off contact, you better have something cool and casual to say.

For instance, you might say, “At Yankee’s game. Woot!”

This shows you didn’t even notice she didn’t text you back and that you are out having a ball, which leads me to my next tip.
Make sure that your next text to her after her non-response is not asking her for anything. Not how she is doing or what happened. You simply want to say something goofy or funny about how much fun you are having. You might say something totally random, such as “Saw a guy in an evening gown on the subway tonight. Trippy dude.” But whatever you do, make sure the text has nothing to do with her and everything to do with you.

This one is iffy, but might be worth a last-ditch effort: Pretend that she did text you back and respond. She will soon figure out that you are responding to another girl’s text but sending it to her by accident. Sometimes this is worth a shot. For instance, you might send her a text saying something vague, such as “That sounds awesome, but I’m already tied up on Thursday.”

If she responds back asking what’s up or acting confused, play dumb and vague and say something, such as “Sorry about that. My bad.” And don’t explain.

More:
What to Say When Texting Girls
What Do I Do When A Girl Doesn’t Text Me Back?

What Is A Good First Text

A well-worded and timed first text is a chance to build great chemistry with a girl. This is why it is important to really think this first message through. More and more flirting happens via texting today. Understanding how to break the ice and build a relationship takes time and thought. The following are some tips for a good first text to send.

Girl Getting First TextReference the Event

If you and a girl met a conference or a friend’s house, it makes sense to reference this event in the text message. For example, a guy can ask the girl if she plans to participate in the next conference and then make a joke about a panel that they both saw or the food. In the event of a shared friend or acquaintance, you could send something about the dinner or party that both people attended. This is a low key way to break the ice.

Send a Joke-Like Text

Humor is a tool that never goes out of style. A joking text can really break the ice and get a conversation moving. This is a chance to build on a joke that two people developed at a party – talking about a girl’s klutziness, mentioning an insane speaker at a conference. One could also send a text about something funny they saw, did or experienced. A joke is a nice way to spark a conversation without seeming too intense or pushy.

Continue Conversations

It is always smart to continue conversation points from the night before. For example, if two people talked about a book or film, it makes sense to mention it again and say that you checked it out. This shows the girl that you have listened to her, taken the time to follow up on her interest and that you are interested. This text could branch out as it proceeds.

Suggestive Text

If it’s clear that two people like each other, a suggestive text could be useful. For example, a guy could say, “It’s too bad you left when you did ____.” This shows the girl that a guy is interested and wants to spend more time with her. Guys need to be careful not to be too forward in these texts. No girls wants to read anything too sexually explicit or forward.

Pose a Question

A question is a great first text because it implies an answer should be sent. There are many different types of questions a man can ask. For example, he could relate the question back to the meeting or event where he met the girl (i.e. “Did you get a chance to talk to the keynote speaker” or “How did the party end up?”). Random or funny questions are a great icebreaker too (i.e. “Would you rather ____” or “Help me decide ____”).

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Random Facts

To establish a fun dynamic, sending random information, stories or popular film quotes is another great first text. These types of messages should be linked to the girl’s interests. If she loves Anchorman, it makes sense to send her a funny quote from the film. If a woman loves basketball, this is a chance to trash talk her team. Paying attention to a woman’s interests is a great way to shape a memorable first text.

Avoid Simple Texts

A good first text is thoughtful. No one wants to receive an emoticon or one or two word text as a first message. Putting some time into this first contact is important. This can set the tone for a conversation and build a guy’s reputation. Girls want to feel like they are worth a guy’s time. This means putting some thought into the words, tone and content of the first text.

Waiting Game

After the first text has been sent, it is now time to wait. No guy should re-send a text or send another one if they do not receive a reply. Part of flirting is waiting for the girl to respond. This could happen immediately, or it could happen hours or even a day later. It’s best to wait this out and not seem too eager. Good flirts let their words do the talking.

Guys who put time and thought into the first text are sure to make a good first impression. This is a chance to get a girl interested and start up a fun flirtation. Referencing past events and jokes is a great icebreaker to get the chemistry where it needs to be. A well-written first text is fun, subtle and really speaks to the interests and personality of the girl. Starting strong is smart when flirting with a new girl.
More reading:
The Top 5 Texting Mistakes That Guys Make

When Texting Girls, Less Is More

The biggest problem that guys run into when they are trying to text girls is being too long-winded. Guys who ramble on and on about nothing don’t realize that they are actually stripping away any attraction they have built.

When it comes to texting girls the key thing to remember is less is always more.

In addition, the more a guy rambles on about inane things by text, the better chance he has of saying (texting) something that is going to blow it completely with the girl. It’s unfortunate, but the truth is that when a guy and girl first meet, every move that is made, every word that is said, and every text that is sent, needs to be strategic.

Men who resist this concept will lose out because the reality is that every other guy and girl out there plays by these rules. Guys who choose to rebel against these unspoken, subtle, rules of the game almost always end up striking out.

Anyone who thinks they are exempt from these rules can stop reading right now. The rest of you, read on to learn the best tips on texting girls to build attraction and further your relationship along.

So, keeping the less is more philosophy in mind, what is the correct way to engage with a girl through text?

Well, there are a couple of hard and fast rules to keep in mind:

The first rule is to avoid being predictable. This means, in essence, keeping her on her toes by not acting in a predictable manner. For instance, at times, you can immediately respond to a text. Then, the next time, wait hours, or even a day before responding. That’s unpredictable. In addition, try to be a bit unpredictable in your responses to her. When she asks what you are doing, don’t be afraid to answer something wacky, such as “Lying on the beach in Aruba.”

Maintain an aura or mystique. That’s a fancy way of saying that you shouldn’t reveal everything about yourself right away and need to keep a bit of mystery intact. That means you don’t answer every question she has immediately or directly. You can answer something vague. For instance, in the example given above, if she asks where you are or what you are doing, you might say, “It’s complicated.” And leave it at that. That will be intriguing. Don’t feel that you have to share everything about yourself with a girl. Leave some things unspoken and some things unrevealed.

Keep in mind that texting is a tool. This is a very important rule. Texting, all too often, become a substitute for in-person interaction. This defeats the whole purpose. If you get too caught up in the game, your entire relationship will blossom and then die on you phone. Instead, never forget that texting is a tool and that tool can do one of two things (or both): It is meant to build attraction and it is meant to arrange an in-person meeting. That’s it. Period. Keep this in the forefront before any text you send.

Read more:
Your OMG! Texting Guide: A Male/Female Text Translation
I Can’t Stop Reading the Texts Women Send Into HeTexted [Websites]

Texting A Girl You Like

One of the biggest mistakes guys make when texting a girl they are interested in is that they play too hard to get. There is nothing wrong with letting a girl know you find her attractive and want to spend more time with her. I’m not sure why guys are so afraid to do this.

If you do reach out in texting a girl you like and let her know how you feel (in a not creepy way) you will be ahead of the game. What I mean by in a not creepy way, is you can let her know you think she is cute, cool, interesting, etc. and that works. What you can’t do is tell her that she is the girl of your dreams and that you have been drawing pictures of a girl who looks just like her since you were 14. Creepy.

Even if she is the girl of your dreams and you want to marry her, save that information for later. Preferably, when you know she feels the same way. Details like that will scare a girl off fast, especially if you are saying that. See the thing is that even if she feels the same way, nobody wants to have that conversation right away. That is only for the movies. Sometimes the slow reveal is the way to a woman’s heart.

So be careful you aren’t going overboard, but by all means send her a text saying, “you are adorable” or “u looked hot today” or even “love your laugh.” Think of it as a way to compliment her and keep her interested. Remember that everybody likes to feel attractive and wanted. There is nothing wrong with letting her know that. Don’t you like it when a girl compliments you and lets you know she finds you attractive? Doesn’t that make you feel like a more attractive person? It works for me.

If you do it with finesse – with just the right touch – not overbearing and not standoffish, you will stand out from every other guy who is texting her. When texting a girl you like you also want to remember to keep it on the short end. Texting is for small, punchy thoughts. It isn’t for long explanations of how wonderful she is. Write a longhand letter or tell her in person if that’s what you want to say. There are lots of different rules for what you say in person.

I’m not sure why guys are afraid to tell a girl they think she is hot or amazing. Trust me, girls want to hear this. It actually increases their interest in you. One of the biggest turn-ons for a woman is knowing that a guy finds her irresistible. Sometimes knowing someone finds you attractive makes you feel even more attractive. If you can provide that for a woman, she will definitely look at you in a new light.